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Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Books&Spectacles

OK just had the LONGEST optician's appointment, over an hour. With my cousin who i think will expire from boredom....LOL
Anyways on the library Internet so i have to be quick, stingy minutes man. :)
Guess what today's Big Thing is?
the Release of Mockingjay by Suzanne collins, its the last book in the Hunger games trilogy.
for some reason i'm not as hyped to read it as I was for the previous installment but I still do want to read it.
Thers just something very comforting about closure. Aside for the obvious... :)
I picked new glasses today as well, i had the intention of getting so different Orange ones, those that know me, know that its one of my favorite colours....
but i ended up with rather odd, yet comfortable red and marbled cream effect rectangles. Its nice though and slightly discreet, just what i wanted.
That's all i can write for now, have like 4 Min's left and i need to finish this Maximum Ride fanfic I've just started.
Peace x
Sammy

Monday, 23 August 2010

Holidays, Results and the Glass of fizzy pop


Hey Bloggers! Or browsers, don’t really care whichever...



It’s just been AGES since I updated…well duh, seeing as I have no access to blogging in JAK but anyways I’ve missed it.
Home for summer break (and of course Ramadan), loads of family at home so that’s good.
Heck it can be nauseatingly LOUD but remember I haven’t seen half of them for a year so I’m savouring it. Got whole other year coming up, Can’t Wait!
Love being at home, the homey food, Library, no curfew, no bed-check, no packed out schedule, my family here and not to mention my mobile! Internet! And BOOKS!!!!! Time to just indulge and READ!!!!
Love it, but we all have to head back to reality and for that I don’t mind going back, I like knowing I’m utilising the time I’ve been given and getting knowledge that I know is Invaluable. I just wish I had appreciated last year as much as I should have Time just Flies!!!!


We all have those moment somewhere in our lives were we get smacked in the face by Reality. Or maybe it’s like a glass of fizzy pop splashed upon your head….or more like the glass going TWACK! upon my head and shattering the hopes that live there.



The reason I suppose for so much comparison is that I’m referring to my JAK end-of-year results and my AS results, both events had there unique Bashing (so to say).



Let me just say JAK results brought my studies into perspective ( hope its long-lived) and the AS results made me feel like I’d just been dumped…or maybe like I’m spinning on one of those play-ground spinning thing (you know what I mean)…not only is nauseating and dizzying but leaving you with a view of the world spinning, your feet no longer planted on the ground, your eyes only wanting to shut, block out the view, block out what can’t be deciphered. You’re in a Limbo and you don’t feel like getting into grips with reality again, you don’t want to….but SMASH goes that glass of fizzy pop and reality HITS, you know you Have to do something about your life, its not enough to want to become better or changer you life, you have to actually go DO it.



*breathe, breathe* lol so that’s just the glazing of the ice-burg. God I’m a mess of blocked up intention, emotion and desires. Those targets I’ve set myself, yet can’t bring into focus, like I can’t find my internal binoculars. That tension up in my brain that can’t be resting because I don’t want to take it out, only for it to unravel into all the problems I fear. Call me coward but its true that saying ‘Ignorance is bliss’.



Actually another comes in mind, one more appropriate: “Denial is the most effective coping mechanism”, like my brain just doesn’t want to go there, and my minds just keep putting off the inevitable. Oh well we all have a way to channel our distress in other field like for me major cleaning/organising. I’d say reading but that’s more like ignoring the problem not channelling it.

Now that really is enough for today,
Peace
Sammy x

Monday, 1 February 2010

Im Back!!!!

So I'm back for a week! I love holidays and i plan to just be lazy, shop and use the net... It feels weird though cause at JAK we use all are time real constructively, like; wake up, Fajr, breakfast, dars, lunch, Zuhr, 6-Form, motala (homework session), dinner, kidmat, Esha then 10:30 bed-chek thats the scedual from Mon to Fri. And i love it because you start to utilise all your time wisely and learn to make time aswell. Plus that jolt of responsibility and Independence is a eye-opener.
All that said, I'm looking forward to this week of uselessness.

First thing on the Agenda:
Home: Be with my mum as much a possible <3 And eat as much home food as possible!
Town:
Badly want a camera (miss my old one SO much!), so that inshallah will be the first thing i spend my untouched EMA on... =)
Mates: Hang out with Sarah&Saj (a.k.a. Sooki&Cookie) Miss them guys too much <3
Misc: Read, Read and Facebook! loool

Well that's the really water-down list.


But the thing 'bout being in JAK you learn the reality of life but you forget the reality of the living. And for that i thank God for the fact its only 2 year because as much as i love JAK, i really do. Love it that it. I don't want to become so veiled that i am no longer able to relate to my source, my family, my mates and most of all the world. That being said i want to enjoy the 2 years as much as i can, to squeeze out all that i can and hope to come out a better person for I've been told again and again (including my past school-self) that time flies. Like my brother wrote in his letter to me 'time waits for no one' and he should know he spent 11 years studying and now he's graduated and life still goes on...


....on a trivial note-for i have so much tension within me my hands are shaking Really badly, i hope it's from the cold but it usually happens when I'm really uneasy, my mind won't stop churning- I would like to say its nice being back! I love home and my family, no matter what were going though now we have faith and I pray so much we'll get though everything as better. more worthy people Ameen.

Well that didn't come out to trivial but I'll try next time.

Loads of love and faith ,
xoSammy