Monday, 23 August 2010

Holidays, Results and the Glass of fizzy pop

Hey Bloggers! Or browsers, don’t really care whichever...

It’s just been AGES since I updated…well duh, seeing as I have no access to blogging in JAK but anyways I’ve missed it.
Home for summer break (and of course Ramadan), loads of family at home so that’s good.
Heck it can be nauseatingly LOUD but remember I haven’t seen half of them for a year so I’m savouring it. Got whole other year coming up, Can’t Wait!
Love being at home, the homey food, Library, no curfew, no bed-check, no packed out schedule, my family here and not to mention my mobile! Internet! And BOOKS!!!!! Time to just indulge and READ!!!!
Love it, but we all have to head back to reality and for that I don’t mind going back, I like knowing I’m utilising the time I’ve been given and getting knowledge that I know is Invaluable. I just wish I had appreciated last year as much as I should have Time just Flies!!!!

We all have those moment somewhere in our lives were we get smacked in the face by Reality. Or maybe it’s like a glass of fizzy pop splashed upon your head….or more like the glass going TWACK! upon my head and shattering the hopes that live there.

The reason I suppose for so much comparison is that I’m referring to my JAK end-of-year results and my AS results, both events had there unique Bashing (so to say).

Let me just say JAK results brought my studies into perspective ( hope its long-lived) and the AS results made me feel like I’d just been dumped…or maybe like I’m spinning on one of those play-ground spinning thing (you know what I mean)…not only is nauseating and dizzying but leaving you with a view of the world spinning, your feet no longer planted on the ground, your eyes only wanting to shut, block out the view, block out what can’t be deciphered. You’re in a Limbo and you don’t feel like getting into grips with reality again, you don’t want to….but SMASH goes that glass of fizzy pop and reality HITS, you know you Have to do something about your life, its not enough to want to become better or changer you life, you have to actually go DO it.

*breathe, breathe* lol so that’s just the glazing of the ice-burg. God I’m a mess of blocked up intention, emotion and desires. Those targets I’ve set myself, yet can’t bring into focus, like I can’t find my internal binoculars. That tension up in my brain that can’t be resting because I don’t want to take it out, only for it to unravel into all the problems I fear. Call me coward but its true that saying ‘Ignorance is bliss’.

Actually another comes in mind, one more appropriate: “Denial is the most effective coping mechanism”, like my brain just doesn’t want to go there, and my minds just keep putting off the inevitable. Oh well we all have a way to channel our distress in other field like for me major cleaning/organising. I’d say reading but that’s more like ignoring the problem not channelling it.

Now that really is enough for today,
Sammy x

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